Menopause: Let's Talk About the Change Nobody Prepared Us For

Right, let's have a proper chat about menopause. Not the hushed-tones, behind-closed-doors version. Not the "we don't talk about that" version your mum's generation lived through. The real, messy, sweaty, occasionally hilarious version that so many of us are living through right now.

It's Menopause Awareness Month, and if ever there was a time to stop pretending we've got it all together, it's now.

The Hot Flush That Started It All

Picture this: I'm in the middle of a perfectly normal Tuesday when suddenly my body decides to impersonate a malfunctioning radiator. I'm frantically fanning myself with whatever's nearby (a magazine, my hand, someone else's hand), while everyone around me is reaching for their cardigans because they're cold.

"Are you alright?" they ask, looking genuinely concerned.

"Oh yes, absolutely fine!" I lie, as beads of sweat form a little community on my forehead. "Just really passionate about... spreadsheets."

That was my wake-up call. Well, one of many. Turns out menopause doesn't knock politely and wait for you to answer. It kicks the door down, rearranges your furniture, and decides to stay for several years.

Nobody Tells You the Truth

Here's what gets me: we spend our entire lives preparing for periods, pregnancy, careers, mortgages, aging parents... but menopause? That somehow slipped through the educational cracks. It's like being handed a flat-pack furniture instruction manual that's missing pages 12 through 47. You know something's supposed to happen, but the specifics are fuzzy at best.

I wish someone had told me that:

Your thermostat will break, possibly forever
You'll forget words you've used for decades (it's not dementia, it's "brain fog" – which sounds much cuter than it actually is)
Sleep becomes optional, except you definitely didn't opt out
Your emotions will occasionally behave like a teenager who's just been told they can't go to the party
You might suddenly develop opinions about the optimal room temperature that border on militant

You Are Not Losing Your Mind (Probably)

The anxiety is real. The mood swings are real. The feeling like you're somehow failing at being a human is very, very real.

But here's the truth: you're not falling apart. Your body is transitioning, and transitions are messy. Just like adolescence was awkward (remember thinking everyone was looking at you? They weren't then, and they're not now), menopause is its own brand of awkward. Except this time, you're dealing with it while holding down a job, possibly raising kids, maybe caring for parents, and trying to remember where you put your keys five minutes ago.

Some days I'm absolutely fine. Other days I'm crying at an advert for fabric softener because the animated teddy bear just looks so happy. Neither version is wrong. They're both just... me, right now.

The Stuff Nobody Mentions

Can we talk about the weird symptoms for a second? The ones that made me think I was genuinely unwell until I discovered they're just part of the menopause package deal?

The joint aches that make you sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies when you stand up. The occasional heart palpitations that convince you this is it, this is the big one, before you remember you've just had three cups of coffee. The bizarre sensation of insects crawling on your skin when there's absolutely nothing there.

And the hair situation – you'll lose it where you want it and gain it where you absolutely don't. Because apparently, my body has a sense of humour.

We Need to Talk About It

The reason I'm writing this isn't just to have a moan (though let's be honest, a good moan is therapeutic). It's because I spent too long thinking I was alone. Thinking I was overreacting. Thinking I should just "push through" because that's what we do, isn't it?

But here's what I've learned: we don't have to push through in silence.

When I finally started talking about it – really talking about it – I discovered something wonderful. Other women started sharing their stories too. Suddenly, I had an army of fellow hot-flushers, a community of brain-fog warriors, a sisterhood of the sleep-deprived.

We swapped tips, shared remedies, and most importantly, we laughed. Because sometimes you have to laugh at the absurdity of standing in front of an open fridge at 3am, wondering if you can just climb inside.

Moving Forward (Not Just Branch Forward)

Look, I'm not going to pretend I have all the answers. I don't. I'm figuring this out as I go, just like you probably are. Some days I nail it. Some days I'm an absolute mess. Most days, I'm somewhere in between, armed with a personal fan and a sense of humour.

But what I do know is this: we need to keep talking. We need to support each other. We need to stop treating menopause like it's shameful or something to be hidden away.

Your experience is valid. Your symptoms are real. Your feelings matter.

And if you're reading this while fanning yourself, struggling to sleep, or wondering why you just snapped at someone for breathing too loudly – you're not alone. Not even close.

Let's Normalize the Conversation

This October, let's make some noise about menopause. Let's talk about it at work, with friends, with our daughters (so they're better prepared than we were). Let's stop apologizing for our symptoms and start demanding better support, better understanding, and better solutions.

Because half the population will go through this. HALF. That's not a niche issue. That's not something to whisper about. That's something that deserves to be front and centre.

So here I am, standing in my truth, probably sweating, definitely tired, occasionally forgetting what I was saying mid-sentence. But I'm here. And so are millions of other women, all navigating this together.

We might not be Oprah with her massive platform, but we have something just as powerful: each other. And that's enough.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to open a window.

Going through menopause and need support? You're not alone. At Branch Forward, we understand because we're living it too. Let's navigate this journey together. Visit branchforward.co.uk to connect with a community that gets it. Fill out our intake form https://branchforward.co.uk/pages/complete-your-intake-form and let’s personalize your wellbeing journey!